Cycle 1/Phase 2/Day 8

Weight: 217/-2

Cycle 1/Phase 2/Day 7

I was a little worried when I first weighed this morning.  It showed that I was -4 under the median.  I weighed again, and it was the same.  I weighed a couple more times and it showed that I was -1.5.  I'm going to go with that number.  I'm wondering if it's time for a new scale?  Anyway...  I'm surprised that I'm not having any cravings.  Of course there are things that I'd like to have, but it's not calling to me.  Well time for an update.


Weight 217.5/-1.5

Cycle 1/Phase 2/Day 6

Hi friends.  Here's the update for today.  It's been another busy day, so a late update.  I was a little surprised that I lost again today.  I know I didn't eat a lot yesterday, but in the past I could have done that and gained.  Anyway, I hope that today helped because I'm below my -2.  I feel like I ate so much today.  I should be back in the range I need to be by tomorrow.  I don't mind having to eat more though.  That does not make me sad.  The other thing that doesn't make me sad is being able to eat and egg with chorizo on it.  You know.. that makes me very happy!  I had that for lunch in case you were wondering.  Ha!  I have to get back on my meal plan.  It's so much easier when I have a plan of what we're going to eat.  Well, I'm going to go for now.  Nothing major in my life.


Weight: 217.5/-2.5

Cycle 1/Phase 2/Day 5

It's been a busy day!  Sorry for the late post.  Well, I am at 2 lbs below the median.  So... I guess I'm going to have to be careful.  I say that, and I was only able to eat once today.  Well, I did have some yogurt.  So, I ate sashimi (raw fish) and cucumber rolls and yogurt.  Hopefully that will be enough.  I have dinner, so I'll have to eat a little more.  Maybe I'll put a little extra dressing on my salad.  LOL!  This is a problem I don't mind having.


Weight: 217.5/-2

Cycle 1/Phase 2/Day 4

Got my new (digital) piano last night.  Very exciting!  I don't really have much to say right now.  Can you believe it?!  I'm just going to update weight.


Weight: 217.5/-1

Cycle 1/Phase 2/Day 3

This portion of the cycle is certainly an adjustment.  I'm not having a hard time with items on the list that aren't allowed.  I'm not really having a rough time at all.  Maybe it's just that I'm having to listen to my body again, which isn't something I've done in a while.  Sometimes I don't know if I'm hungry or thirsty or maybe just have a tummy ache.  I've also been having a lot of heartburn.  I had it in Phase 1 a lot.  Usually after I took the probiotic.  Now, it's just anytime.  I was thinking maybe it was that I was adding fat back in my diet.  It still may be, but I haven't changed my diet that much at all since before starting this.  The only thing I changed was no added sugar and starch.  I was eating the exact same stuff.  Well, I'll just keep an eye on it.

When I was on The TeamDau Wellness group page on Facebook yesterday, I saw that there was a question posted.  It said, "What is one benefit besides weight loss that you have experienced since starting this program?"  Or something like that.  Well that's easy for me.  I had been thinking about it earlier yesterday, so I had my answer already.  Weight loss has been great -17 is a lot!  I knew that the science behind the hcg protocol is to reset the hypothalamus.  What I didn't expect is that it would reset my desires as well.  There have been some mental blocks lately when it comes to making healthy and good choices.  Whenever I went out to a restaurant, I wouldn't want to chose something healthy on the menu.  In fact, I would feel a little panicky.  It was almost as if I did, I might never get to experience the taste of the other foods.  My brain would say things like, "You can have salmon anytime you want.  Why would you eat that instead of trying the buffalo chicken sandwich.  A yummy battered and fried chicken breast smothered in ranch with butter toasted buns.  How about that side of fries you love so much.  Would you really want to miss out on them?!"  How can you fight with that?!  It's hard that's for sure.  The sad part is that I didn't used to have that battle.  There was a time, about 5-6 years ago that I didn't have that struggle.  I had two miscarriages in a row.  One was very traumatic because it ended up being an emergency.  It was pretty bad.  Just think... Carrie.  Not pleasant.  So, after that I stopped caring I guess.  Anything healthy just didn't sound appealing.  It sounded gross.  With the first pregnancy, I craved salad.  With R I craved oatmeal cream pies and steak.  Pretty big difference.  Fast forward to today.  After doing the hcg protocol (which I'm not done with yet) I feel like it not only reset my hypothalamus.  It reset that part of my brain that didn't used to care about healthy choices.  I still love those foods, but I don't crave them.  When I think about them, I don't salivate.  I don't hurt because I'm not going to go get them.  I'm actually happy about my spinach salad with tons of veggies and a little of a creamy dressing.  I loved my chicken with salsa and asparagus.  That's a huge benefit.  I didn't expect it, but I'm glad it happened.

The last I wanted to mention before I update weight is that I think the tough part of this phase is going to be learning how much I can eat a day.  I felt like such a glutton yesterday!  I had an omelet, some chicken with salsa and asparagus for lunch.  I had a cheese stick, because I was starving before dinner.  For dinner I had a steak and a salad with veggies in it.  Oh!  I even had a little bit of ice cream for lunch.  I wasn't hungry, but it sounded like a good treat.  That was a little mistake I made yesterday.  I had done well stopping when full at lunch, but that ice cream was like a Siren to me.   My tummy felt full for a while after lunch.  Then, after dinner I was full too.  I drank all my water too.  I was sure that I would probably gain weight today.  Well wasn't I surprised!


Weight: 217.5/-1    <- Down a pound and a half from yesterday's weigh in.

Cycle 1/Phase 2/Day 2

Today is the second day.  I talked to my sponsor and she said yesterday's weight is my median weight.  I think I did really well yesterday.  I'm not doing well on my water drinking today, but I can catch up.  It's definitely harder not to get back into the routine of eating 3 times a day, when I may not be hungry.  I had a pretty healthy omelet today.  I didn't eat the whole thing.  It was hard not to.  I ate some and then felt full, so I ate one more bite.  LOL!  Hey, it's a start.  I had some yummy chicken with salsa.  I'm not sure if that's allowed.  It has a tiny bit of sugar, but no more than a lot of the allowable stuff for phase 2.  (This was yesterday)  Today though, I've just had the omelet and I may be ready for lunch in a bit.  I think I may be hungry.  I can't be sure, so I'm going to gulp down some water and see how I feel later.  Well, I'll update my weight.  During this phase I'll post my median weight/difference from median.  The goal if you remember is to maintain that weight within 2 lbs either side.



Weight: 217.5/+.5

Cycle 1/Phase 2/Day 1

Well, I'm here!  I'm ready too!  I had a few drinks last night with my friend.  I was only going to have one glass of wine, but one turned to 1 glass plus 2 shots and a martini.  So.....  not exactly the night I planned, but a good one all the same.  Before anyone gets ideas about me, let me just say that I do that maybe once every year.  I'm not a drinker and I rarely get the opportunity to, so I enjoyed painting and drinking with my good friend.  She's so rotten.  Anyway.... I just knew I was going to gain today.  I just knew it.  I spent the night at my mom's and I used her scale this morning.  I looked down and dang!  I had gained 4 lbs!  What!  So, I went home and I was ok with it.  I thought, "was it worth it?..... Heck ya!"  I had to use the bathroom when I got home and I thought I'd weigh on my scale too.  I weighed and I was 5  lbs lighter than my mom's scale!  So, I'm going to go by my scale.  Not just because it's a better number to look at, but it's the one I weigh on everyday.  According to this one though, I lost a pound.  So, I don't know if that's my median weight or just 1 lb under my median.  I'll have to ask about that.  My painting looks great!


Weight:  217.5/-1/-17

A not so fun day today!

You know how you have days when the toilet overflows every time you flush?  You take your kiddo to the store and as you're pushing the cart to the car you realize she's soaking wet from her snack?  You load the groceries (including sugar free ice cream meant as a treat for surviving Phase 1) into the trunk?  Then you realize you've locked your keys in the trunk with the food?  Then you wait over an hour outside in the parking lot with a 3 year old in a crazy, sketchy part of town?  Well, I had one of those days today.  Seriously... I'M DONE!  To top it all off, it's now 3pm and she naps at 1pm.  I have to leave by 4:15 to go somewhere.  She naps for 3 hours usually.  So....... today is a bust.  Well, on the way home I stopped by Sonic to pick some lunch up for her.  I looked at the menu and those cheesy, chili tots looked soooo good!  Do you want to know what I ordered for myself?  I ordered a plain burger.  Dry with only veggies.  I tossed the bun and ate a burger salad.  I did splurge and have a diet soda.  I don't drink soda anymore, so that was my emotional treat.  I know that this isn't a very exciting post.  I'm just proud of myself.  In the past that kind of stress would have put me in a chocolate/wine mood.  Don't get me wrong... I am definitely having a glass of wine tonight, but that was already a plan of mine.  It's just a neat phase that I'm in.  I am very excited about this next phase.  It's a chance for me to work on the emotional side of my eating.  It's going to be hard and I may be really negative when I write.  There will probably be tears, but I'm ready for them.  Today was a good step though.  The opportunity to cheat and ruin what I've worked so hard for was right in front of me.  It wasn't even a consideration though.  It wasn't a temptation at all!  It wasn't a struggle.  I saw the yummy food and thought that it looked yummy, but I didn't want it.  So, I think that's a good step.  A baby step, but isn't everything really?  Remember the movie What About Bob?  I always remember what Bill Murray would say.  "Baby Steps!  Success!"  I still think about that.  So today... BABY STEPS!  SUCCESS!

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 26

I'm nearing the end of this phase.  I'm starting to feel hungry now, but I usually do in the morning.  I guess it doesn't help that I fixed R my favorite breakfast.  What's that?  Chorizo, eggs and shredded potatoes.  Pretty yummy huh?  Pretty bad for you too I suppose, but the yumminess makes me feel a little less guilty.  It does help to know that in a day or maybe two I can fix a little extra of the egg, chorizo combo and have some.  Hopefully I won't have to have a steak and apple day tomorrow.  I may though, since I'll be doing the Sociable Art tonight.  I'm going to try very hard not to drink more than one glass or have food that I'm not allowed to have.  Oh man!  I'm anticipating a gain though.  So, no loss today.  I was hoping to see one more half pound fall off before the end of this.  Nope!


Weight: 218.5/0/-16

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 25

Quick update.  I'm not feeling great, so I'll make it short.  No loss today, but that's fine.  I have to have oral surgery very soon, so I'm trying to figure out phase 2 meals that I"ll be able to eat.


Weight: 218.5/0/-16

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 24

I guess this is technically still Phase 1.  I didn't take any drops this morning.  I weighed and I actually went down.  I can't believe it!  My stalls were about 4 days apart, but this last one there was only a day in between that I didn't lose.  Maybe that's a good sign that the next cycle would go better.  I met my goal, not for this month, but the amount I would have had to lose in order to make my 10lbs per month.  I needed to lose .67 lbs a day in order to meet that goal.  My goal, if you remember is 20lbs a cycle.  Well, I'm there.  I haven't lost 20, but I'm also not going the full 30 days.  So, I'm pleased.  I would loved to have lost more, but that's ok.  I think the next couple of days are going to be hard for me.  I can feel the hunger creeping up on me.  As you know, I've had a tough time with this.  From what I understand though, this is not usual.  It's not totally unusual, but most people don't feel hungry while on the drops.  I sure hope that if you're considering this program you don't get turned off by it.  It's been a hugely emotional experience for me.  I'm not usually so much of a negative nellie, but I sure have felt it lately.


Weight: 218.5/-1.5/-16

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 23

Today is the last day of Phase 1.  Next cycle I think it will be longer, but right now I'm stopping so that I can start again sooner.  My plan is to do another cycle and go from there.  Depending on how the next cycle goes, I may do another or I may lose the rest on my own.  Although losing 60 lbs would be great, it's very far off from my goal.  I'm not there yet, so I won't worry about that.  This is the last day of the drops, but not the last day for the VLCD.  The next three days will still be the low calorie diet without the drops.  I may only last one or two days though.  I'm not expecting to go all three days.  I've had a rough time with hunger during this phase.  After those days, I can add everything but starch and sugar back into my diet.  That  sure opens a lot of doors.  I'll be eating "intelligently", and weighing everyday to make sure I don't go +/- 2 over the weight from today.  This phase will last 21 days and then I'll move on to the last phase, where I'll add everything else back into the diet.  Starches, sugars, salty foods... nothing will be off limits.  In these two phases, should I go over the 2 lbs from where I'm at today, I'll have a Steak and Apple day.  Those days I'll have an apple (as big as I like) and a steak (as much as I can stuff into my mouth.)  I guess that was pretty self explanatory.  So in the spirit of being super prepared, I have already bought a huge steak and apple.  This Wednesday may set me back a little.  That's ok though, it will be worth it.  Ok, well the big reveal for the end of this cycle.  No surprise about the weight.


Weight: 220/0/-14.5



Here are some pics.  I don't see any difference.

Well the table has moved, but no difference on me.  It takes more weight loss to make a difference when you're this heavy I suppose.  Still, total since my husband left is 22.5 lbs.  That's good I guess.  He's been gone a little over a month.  Here are side pics.

That's it!  Hopefully the end of next cycle will see me even thinner!


Update:

I was doing a little  more reading.  I probably should have done that before this post.  Anyway... This may not be my final weight.  I may still lose weight tomorrow or the next day even.  We'll see.  I somehow doubt I'll be lighter tomorrow, but I guess you never know.

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 22

This up/stall cycle was much shorter.  Today is a loss day.  I'm still going to stop Phase 1 after tomorrow and start over the end of April.  It hasn't been too bad and I can't really complain about the loss I've had this month.  I'll post a pic tomorrow and see if there's any difference.  Probably not one that's noticeable yet.


Weight: 220/-1.5/-14.5

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 21

Thank goodness I planned to stop in a couple of days.  After thinking about it, I'm going to give it a rest after day 23, then start again in a month or so.  With the gains, and now not being able to eat, I think it's just time to move on to the next Phase for now.   I'm sure not being able to eat all the food is not helping at all.  Sigh...   Well, no change on the scale.  No surprise there.  I'm not at peace with it, but no surprise.



Weight: 221.5/0/-13

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 20

I'm  not going to write much today.  I don't feel that great.  I've been having terrible pain in my jaw the past couple of weeks.  My wisdom teeth are giving me a hard time.  Fortunately if I have to have surgery, I'll be on Phase 2.  No loss today.  I gained.  Part of my cycle.


Weight: 221.5/+.5/-13

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 19

Today is a loss day.  It seems to be my body's cycle.  Lose then nothing for a few days.  I tried eating my protein this morning, so we'll see how that goes.  I bet it will be better than it has been.  I'm also going to try for twice a day on the hcg.  I'll see how that works too.


221/-2/13.5



 It's about 9:30 right now and I realized a few minutes ago that I didn't eat my fruit tonight.  Ha!  How in the world?  I guess I wasn't hungry.  That's funny to say.  Anyway.. I did my protein first thing, my apple and bread stick for lunch.  For dinner I had steak kabobs.  The best ones on the planet!  Then I had another bread stick.  No fruit.  I just ate some apple.  Not a whole one, but some left over from R's dinner.  Hope that doesn't do anything since I forgot then ate it late.  My Hcg was twice today.  Actually I need to take that now.  Much better day!  NO hunger except when I first got up.  I can deal with that.  I'm just happy that I can have eggs one morning.  Maybe a HUGE omelet.  Well not huge, but dang!  3 egg whites and 1 whole egg?  That's a lot!  Talk to you in the morning!

Feeling Full!

Not in the way that food makes you feel though.  I feel like my emotional tank has been filled.  Man!  I so needed tonight's skype meeting with the Dau's and the rest of the support group.  I've been feeling discouraged and wondering if I should continue after this cycle.  I'd been thinking that it was all about the numbers.  I have this goal and I really want to make it.  I know I could make the goal by eating well and exercising like crazy.  I'm not going to say that I won't be wishy washy and toy with that idea again.  I probably will.  Tonight though, I got some great suggestions for the issues I've been having.  So, I'm going to start tomorrow.  One suggestion was to eat my protein first thing with my vitamins.  That really appeals to me, because I'm a breakfast girl!  If I don't have it, my tummy is grumbly all day and I'm not very friendly.  Maybe that's why most of my posts have been cranky! 

The other suggestion was to stop Phase 1 at 23 days instead of 30.  I'll be able to start my new cycle earlier and hopefully the next cycle will be a little better.  I'll have to really make sure I load well this time.  I probably didn't load as well as I should have.  I may load 3 days instead of 2.  I'm not sure about that.  I"ll ask them again when the time comes.

The last thing we talked about is people with a history of eating disorders my have a harder time at first because the normal fat/abnormal fat ratio is so off.  Well, I haven't had issues in a couple of years, but the past 10-11 years I've struggled off and on.  10 years ago, I was hospitalized for anorexia and bulimia as well as depression and anxiety.  What a mix!  What a mess!  Now though, instead of controlling my intake of food, I am the exact opposite.  For some reason it seemed impossible to make healthy choices.  Even when I did it didn't seem to matter.  I still would struggle with my weight.  I'm happy to say though, that I'm not even tempted by food right now.  I may be hungry, but there aren't any cravings.  (Just to be clear to anyone that may be reading this and wondering about the program, I'm only hungry first thing in the morning and I could split my meal up, but I have been trying not to.)   I've been to one Tastefully Simple Party, a 31 Party and a Scentsy Party and I didn't cheat once even though there was amazing food there!  I'm not trying to brag because I know I've had other issues.  I'm just happy that's not one of them is all. 

So, I feel better.  My tank is full.  I needed to be there with the support group.  I should probably use my sponsor more, but I don't want to email and complain.  I hate being a complainer.  (Obviously it doesn't bother me too much to blog my complaints!)  Anyway... I'm ready for tomorrow come what may.  I hope what comes is a good drop because I'm due for it, but I know that if it doesn't I can stop this phase in a couple of days and start fresh in a few weeks.  Even if I don't reach my 90, (which I really hope I do) any amount of weight will be a huge improvement.  I will still be different from when my husband left.  I'll be healthier and happier I'm sure. 

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 18

I think I may try not weighing in everyday.  I think I'm just going to weigh in every 3 days, since that seems to be what my body does anyway.  That way I won't be getting so stressed everyday.  So, no movement on the scale today.  I know I'm not cheating and I haven't taken a shower in a couple of days, so it's definitely not lotion or soaps.  Well, let me update weight.


Weight: 223/0/-11.5

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 17

I don't think weighing every day is good for a person with a past history of eating disorders and who leans toward the neurotic compulsive side.  Just don't think so.  Anyway...


Weight: 223/-.5/-11.5


Gotta get to 20 at least by the end of this month!

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 16

Oh man!  Not only did I not go down, I went up!  Geez..



Weight: 223.5/+.5/-11

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 15

Just as my child likes to mess with my brain when it comes to napping, I think my body is messing with my brain with these stalls!  I finally had a good loss day.  Man!  Every morning I feel like I'm gambling.  It's almost too much for me.  I wish I didn't have to weigh in every day.  Anyway... Yay!  I had a loss day!  A good one.  I wonder if this is how my body is going to do it the whole time?  I guess if it happens again I'll know.  I haven't noticed a difference in clothing or looks yet.  I'm going to take a pic on Monday and compare it to the pic from the first day.  That should be fun.  Ok!  Well, time to update weight.


Weight: 223.0/-2.5/-11.5




I thought I'd mention something interesting.  I was driving home from my mom's house tonight and I passed by Bojangles.  If you aren't from the south you won't know what it is.  It's the best chicken place there is.  They make the best biscuits and  sweet tea on the earth!  We used to live in the same town that this fast food place is, but we now live about 40 minutes from it.  Probably a good thing.  Anyway.... I passed by it and for the first time when I looked at it, I didn't feel that pull.  Normally I see it and there's a craving that's so horrible I feel like I'm going to fall apart.  Even if I do manage to not pull in the drive through, I felt sad and terribly hungry.  I could seriously eat there 6 days a week.  Not today though.  Nothing.  No emotions about it.  No pull.  No crazy hunger or cravings.  Sure, it would be a nice treat, but I didn't need it.  That was a good feeling.  You better believe on my next load day that I'm going to pig out there at least once!  I'm not THAT over it!

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 14

Ok, well we're at 2 weeks.  I'm going to finish out this month, but I'm not sure if I'll continue.  I guess I'm just a little worried I won't meet my goal.  I need to lose 10lbs more to make it a program I will stick with.  My blog is 90 in 9.  So, my goal is 90 lbs in 9 months.  Even if I lose .5lb a day for a month, that's only 15 lbs every two months.  I need to lose at least 10lbs EVERY month to meet my goal, but since I'm only going to be losing every other month, the numbers really have to be higher.  I've lost 9 pounds so far and that's nothing to be ashamed of, but I'm down to 8 months.  I know I should be concerned about quality rather than quantity, but really my whole reason for doing this was the numbers. We'll see how the next couple of weeks go.  Hopefully I'll be where I want to be for the end of this phase and I'll continue on.  It's promising for sure that I'm halfway to my goal for the month, but I'm a little scared I won't make it after having so many no loss days. 


Weight: 225.5/-9  (no loss today)

Pooh Corner

I love Pooh and I sometimes look at the different characters and imagine who I am.  Well, lately I've felt like Eeyore.  Today especially.  I'm just letting you know this because I know some of my posts haven't been as upbeat as I usually am in person.  I'm seriously not usually such a whiner!  Gosh!  Lately though, I don't know what's gotten into me.  I haven't been feeling well, that's for sure, but I don't think that's it.  Anyway... I'm Eeyore.  Woe is me :-(  LOL!  I need to knock it off and be more like Pooh.  In the moment.  That's been my goal lately, but I'm not doing so well.  Well, that's not completely true.  I've come a long way recently.  I'm proud of the changes I've made and the things I'm doing now to improve myself.  Alright. I'm going to head out of here and get some food made for me and the little bear cub.

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 13

Gosh!  I almost forgot to post today.  Well, not much loss for today but it's a little loss.  I'm only down half a pound.  I was hoping for a pound because there was no loss yesterday.  Oh well.  Maybe tomorrow will be better.


Weight: 225.5/-9

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 12

Arg!  I'm a little disappointed.  No loss today.  I was really hoping that I could lose close to 30 this cycle.  At this rate, I won't be anywhere near that number.  I don't understand why i keep stalling.  Sigh.... Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming swimming swimming.  What do we do?  We swim, swim, swim!


Weight: 226.0



 I meant to update this earlier.  I did talk to Tom today and we figured out a couple things that could be stalling me.  I feel a little relieved knowing the mechanics of it all.  Hopefully tomorrow WILL be a loss day and this will all be silly.

In other news... My seedlings are amazing!  I just put them in the soil a few days ago it seems.  Less than a week for sure.  I need to get my raised beds fast!  I thought I was going to have a couple weeks to do it.  Not at this rate.

These are my cukes!

These are sunflowers (my daughter HAD to have them)

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 11

It's been a busy morning, but here I am.  I didn't lose at much as I would have liked, but at least I went down.  It's been nice seeing -2 each morning.  Maybe tomorrow will be one of those mornings.  I made sloppy joes for lunch.  That was very yummy!  So far Little R has eaten every meal.  I may have already mentioned that in a previous post.  I've liked all the meals I've made so far.  There are a couple I won't do.  I'm allergic to shellfish, so I won't be doing the crab or shrimp.  That's a shame, because I'd really like the variety.  I'm also making the applesauce despite my aversion to cinnamon.  I think I may get a steak at the store next time I'm there.  A tiny little one I can throw on the grill.  I should have some little plants soon!  I checked them today and they are already popping out of the soil!  Alright.  Time to check in with the weight.


Weight: 226/-8.5

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 10

Alright!  I like the days where I lose more than one pound.  :-)  I need to check in with Tom and Vicki and K (my mentor.)  I'm ready to keep going.  I'm feeling a little hungry at the moment, but I just realized I haven't had any water yet this morning.  I am still doing the drops 3 times a day.  I think right now that may work better for me.  Well, I need to run to the store.  I'm all out of apples, and I can't do the Cottage Cheese without them!


Weight:  226.5/-8

I'm not sure how often to update pics.  I took pics today, but I don't think there's enough change to really post it.  I may do it at the 2 week mark instead.  So, probably every other Monday I'll post pics.  Today's going well, by the way.  It's funny, because normally at this point I'd feel like a change.  I am enjoying cooking all the new recipes.  They're just small enough that I don't have a lot left over to waste.  Ooooo!  I am working on my garden.  I know we aren't supposed to do cardio right now, but I'm not counting that even though sometimes the digging has my heart going.  Could that be a reason for my stall the other two days?  Hmmmm......  I'll ask.  Anyway.. I have cukes, tomatoes, okra, peppers, basil, cilantro, watermelon and sunflowers trying to sprout inside.  I have lettuce already in the ground and strawberry plants in pots.  It will be so much cheaper once these guys start to produce fruits.  Man!  My overall grocery bill is lower, but that could be because I don't have another adult to feed.  Little R has eaten every recipe and liked it.  I guess that's about all I have for today...  Belina Out!

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 9

Ok... I saw some movement on the scale today.  It was in the down direction, so I'm pleased!  Gosh I'm tired today.  I don't have much to say today, so I'll just update my weight.


Weight: 228.5/-6

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 8

Arrrg!  Another day with no loss.  This is a little frustrating.  I've been doing well.  No cheating.  Drinking all of my water.  I checked my bath products.  I didn't check my shampoo, so I'll do that.  It's not my cycle, (Mine are 100 days apart) and I always watch my sodium.  Other than that, I just don't know.  I've been spoiled lately not just with this, but with the 6 week body makeover too.  I only did that for a week, then hubby was leaving, so I let up.  I lost 9 pounds that week though.  I was sort of hoping I'd lose at least that much or close to it.  I mean, dang!  For the 6WBM I was able to eat potatoes and breakfast.  I'm sure I'll look back in a month and realize it's all worth it, but right now, I just can't see it.  I've also had a constant headache since I started this.  I know my body pretty well, and it's not because I'm detoxing.  The first couple of days maybe, but not now.  Sigh...
OK. Attitude change. The positive side is this.  I didn't gain.  That's good.  The other thing I look forward to is a more permanent change.  That's what this program promises, and that's more important to me.  I'd much rather suffer now, and know that later I can eat how and what I like.  It makes me think of Dave Ramsey and how he talks about living like no one else so that later you can live like no one else.  You know?  Right now, I'm budgeting my food.  Using it sparingly and making it go far, so that later I can eat what I want when I want.  Now, I just have to do that with our finances.  We're getting there though.  So, I'm bummed, but I'll keep on working.  Hopefully something will happen tomorrow.



Weight: 230.5

Uh Oh!

9:30pm - Dang!  I forgot to take my dinner with me when I went to do a Scentsy party. (Yep!  I sell Scentsy if anyone needs some yummy smelling flameless candles.)  Anyway... I totally forgot my food.  I didn't cheat though.  I wasn't even hungry believe it or not!  I'm just now eating though.  I hope that affect my weight loss.  That would be such a bummer.  I'm going to try to guzzle the rest of my water.  My daughter has eaten all of my Wasa crackers.  She doesn't like the melbas so at least I'll have that.  I think she's really loving this though.  She loves fresh fruits and veggies and meat, so I think she's in kid heaven.  Well, I'm going to get.  Wish me luck in the morning!

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 7

Well, bummer!  No loss today.  I did everything I was supposed to, but I didn't see any movement on the scale.  I'm definitely disappointed considering how much I have been doing.  It's incredibly hard for me not to eat until lunch.  Breakfast has always been my favorite.  Well.... so have lunch and dinner ;-)  Anyway..  I'm bummed today.  I said I'd give it a week and see how it goes.  It's not been a week yet.  Not of the low calorie phase anyway.  I wasn't as good about water yesterday as I have been, but I still drank almost all of it.  I just don't know.  I'll update as soon as I hear something from my mentor.  Hopefully she'll be able to give me some answers.


Weight: 230.5

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 6

I'm a little late getting this post out.  It's still getting easier.  I'm not sure I'm ever going to be able to skip breakfast, but I have a month to get used to it.  Today is going to be a dill dip day.  I'm actually looking forward to trying that.  I think I'm going to try making a tzatziki sauce with the cottage cheese and cucumbers.  I don't know how that will work out, but if it does it will be really yummy over some beef.  I would have to halve the recipe though.  I like all of the recipes I've tried so far.  RJ is eating them as well.  She ate the lemon chicken and liked that.  She even ate several bites of my cottage cheese and fruit yesterday.  Well, I'm sure if anyone is reading this they'd like to know my weight now.


Weight:  230.5 / -4 since Monday when I started the low calorie diet part of this phase.

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 5

I was a little discouraged yesterday.  I didn't understand why I kept feeling so hungry when most people aren't hungry when on this program.  I don't know what today will be like, but I wanted to at least update my weight.


Weight: 232


1:30 - OK!  Much better today!  If it keeps getting better, then I'll make it.  Man!  Those first two days were rough.  I mean R-O-U-G-H!  Today I tried the Cottage Cheese with fruit and veggies for lunch.  I have never cared for cc, but I tried it again today.  I cut up one whole apple and ate tiny bits at a time with the apple.  It was much better than I remembered and the apple really helped.  The other thing I did today was take the hcg around 11ish.  So, I split it up into three times a day.  I'll probably go back to two times a day in a few days.  I wasn't hungry like yesterday.  I wasn't feeling the empty, gnawing hunger like the last two days.  Hopefully that will completely disappear in the next week or so.  I think what I'm going to have to work on now is the craving and temptation.  The routine of eating right when I wake up, is also going to be hard to break.  I fixed R some eggs, chorizo and potatoes and it just about killed me.  I was like Wile E. Coyote salivating..  I snagged the tiniest bit of egg and sausage.  I mean dime size.  I was so happy!  It's neat to watch her eat though.  She'll eat and then just stop.  I used to feel like I was always feeding her, but I see now that she's just eating until she's satisfied, not full.  Sometimes I wonder how she can not eat anything but 5 goldfish one day and then pig out the next.  She's tiny though.  She's not a little chub, so I hope that she stays that way.  I think she will.  We don't force her to finish her plate or anything.  Well, I just got so off topic.  Anyway....  I'm much happier today.  I still feel a little low in energy, but I'm not feeling dizzy or weak.  I will tell you this.  The number above ^, I have not been able to break for a long time.  I can't wait to be in the 220's.  That will be a great site! 

Cycle 1/Phase 1/Day 4

It's Tuesday, the second day of the reduction phase.  I think I'm going to have my fruit and toast this morning, then have my protein and veggie for lunch.  I had such a hard time with hunger yesterday.  I really hope it's better today.  Tonight is the skype group meeting, so I'm looking forward to that.  I don't have much to report right now.  I'm super tired.  I'm sure I'll update later.


Weight: 233.5






7pm -  

I just don't know how I'm going to make it all week.  I'm not craving anything or having a hard time with choices.  I honestly just feel like crap!  I feel weak and very low energy.  I'm only going to do this a couple more days, and if it doesn't get better then I'll have to stop.  I'm still starving.  I have stomach pains all day and feel nauseous.  I'm thinking this diet may not be the one for me.  I'm sure I'll lose weight, but I feel like I'm starving myself.  No matter what, I'm going to keep the blog.  I still have 90 to lose in 9 months, so it's still relevant.  I was really wanting this to work, and maybe it will, but it doesn't feel like it will.