A Wake Up Call

Today as I was driving home I was having these strange pains in my chest.  They were sort of left of center.  They were intermittent.  For a while I was scared that maybe I was having a heart attack.  I'm a bit of a hypochondriac when my husband is deployed.  That's a different story though.  So, I was having these pains and I started looking up symptoms women have when they have a heart attack.  I know they have different symptoms sometimes.  Anyway.... I of course asked my friends on Facebook what they thought.  I mean what else would a person do right?  (I know that's stupid)  Well, I have friends on there from when I went to EMS school, and I have a few medics, nurses and a doctor or two as friends, so I thought they may chat with me.  I was pretty sure I wasn't dying at the moment.  I mean, if I was I wouldn't be on Facebook.  (I know how it sounds, and it was NOT an anxiety attack.  I am used to those and they never manifest that way)  Then I started worrying that I may die and my child would be with my dead body for 2 weeks before I was discovered.  I know.. I'm neurotic.  The point I'm trying to make is that I was afraid I was having a heart attack.  I'm obese and although I've had blood work done that doesn't show that I have any risk factors, I was still afraid.  I worry about my health.  I have joint pain.  I have pain in my leg when I go from sitting on the floor to standing.  I hate that!  I hate exercising, but I used to like it.  I have had higher blood sugars.  Not incredibly high, but the high side of normal.  I don't want to die yet.  I'm not afraid of dying, but I just don't want to die right now.  I don't want to make my daughter mommy-less.  I don't think I'm that close to having medical issues associated with my weight, but I could if I don't get a handle on this.  This is my chance.  If I don't do this then I'll have to consider surgery.  That's not something I want to consider, but I don't know what else to do if I can't get this weight off and keep it off.  I need to get healthy again.  This task ahead of me is not just about looking good, and feeling good about myself, but being a healthy individual for my child and my husband and myself.  I have a lot of work to do, and it's overwhelming.  I just pray that I'll have the strength and support to see this through to the end.  Here's to a healthier me!