A day to day diary of my journey to become the person I used to be and the person I was meant to be.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
A Wake Up Call
Today as I was driving home I was having these strange pains in my chest. They were sort of left of center. They were intermittent. For a while I was scared that maybe I was having a heart attack. I'm a bit of a hypochondriac when my husband is deployed. That's a different story though. So, I was having these pains and I started looking up symptoms women have when they have a heart attack. I know they have different symptoms sometimes. Anyway.... I of course asked my friends on Facebook what they thought. I mean what else would a person do right? (I know that's stupid) Well, I have friends on there from when I went to EMS school, and I have a few medics, nurses and a doctor or two as friends, so I thought they may chat with me. I was pretty sure I wasn't dying at the moment. I mean, if I was I wouldn't be on Facebook. (I know how it sounds, and it was NOT an anxiety attack. I am used to those and they never manifest that way) Then I started worrying that I may die and my child would be with my dead body for 2 weeks before I was discovered. I know.. I'm neurotic. The point I'm trying to make is that I was afraid I was having a heart attack. I'm obese and although I've had blood work done that doesn't show that I have any risk factors, I was still afraid. I worry about my health. I have joint pain. I have pain in my leg when I go from sitting on the floor to standing. I hate that! I hate exercising, but I used to like it. I have had higher blood sugars. Not incredibly high, but the high side of normal. I don't want to die yet. I'm not afraid of dying, but I just don't want to die right now. I don't want to make my daughter mommy-less. I don't think I'm that close to having medical issues associated with my weight, but I could if I don't get a handle on this. This is my chance. If I don't do this then I'll have to consider surgery. That's not something I want to consider, but I don't know what else to do if I can't get this weight off and keep it off. I need to get healthy again. This task ahead of me is not just about looking good, and feeling good about myself, but being a healthy individual for my child and my husband and myself. I have a lot of work to do, and it's overwhelming. I just pray that I'll have the strength and support to see this through to the end. Here's to a healthier me!
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You can do this samantha! One day at a time, one decision at a time!
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