Cycle 2/Phase 2/ Day 11 & 12

Have you ever noticed that when you remove one addiction you just replace it with another?  Well, I have to admit that I'm struggling right now.  I definitely have some emotional food habits I need to deal with.  I think it's more than food though.  It's boredom and habit.  I'm also staying up later.  I want to take a break from technology for a while.  I like journaling though.  I'm not sure how much restraint I'll have to keep journaling, but not do anything else on the internet.  I'd like to stop everything.  Cut the tv, phones and internet off.  I feel like I need something simpler.  I want to live on some land and just be able to play with R outside.  I don't feel like I can do that now.  I feel like I'm stuck in this tornado.  So, I've started meditating again.  I swear, when I move, the tv is going down in the basement and the computer too.  I just want to travel with R and teach her that way.  I don't want to be stuck inside anymore.  I'm feeling claustrophobic.  What does this all have to do with my 90 in 9?  I think that losing weight and changing these habits have changed a lot of things.  My emotional issues are definitely coming to the front.  This is the part of the cycle that's the hardest.  Phase 1 I think you're so focused on just making it through, that you don't have time to think about what got you there.  Adding foods back in and not being on a schedule forces you to think about your motivation and whether or not you're really hungry.  Ugh...  I'm struggling this time.  So, my addiction is a cigarette during R's nap and one at bedtime.  Then my other addiction has been the sugar free ice cream.  Sigh.....  So, I have a lot to do.  I need to do the Forgiveness meditation everyday for a while I think.  Maybe even several times a day.  I need to find something to do when I'm bored.  It just seems like I have no energy to get her ready to get out.  If I can start the day without tv and the computer, then my day goes slower.  I'm rambling right now because it's so late.  That's why this is a double post.  Time to go to bed.  Think of me though.  When you pray or meditate, think of me.