Cycle 2/ Phase 1/ Day 43

Today is the last day of Phase 1.  I'm moving on tomorrow.  I did well last time on Phase 2, but phase 3 was toughest.  I gained over median, but only by a pound.  I guess I was just upset because I had stayed 2 lbs under median.  This time I'm really going to have to work on the emotional aspect of it all.  When I had the option of eating what I wanted during Phase 3, I think I just ate anything.  I really didn't keep up with the veggies and fruits like I should have.  I'll be ok though.  This time I'm going to really have to work on that.  It's hard to go from such a restricted phase to eating everything you want to.  The good thing is that if I go too far over median, I can do a steak and apple day.  Fortunately I didn't have to do that last time.  I can't chat for long.  I'm just excited because two of my friends have signed up to start the program.  Yay!

193.2

Cycle 2/ Phase 1/ Day 42

I'm feeling great.  2 days no drops.  I don't feel hungry yet.  This is the part that always blows my mind.  I'm glad though.  It's good.  I'm excited to have a little chorizo and eggs for breakfast though.  Of all the things to crave and want to be my first meal, that's it.  I don't care about anything.  I just love chorizo!  There's a restaurant that does a great chicken breast with chorizo on it.  Yummmmmm!  It's Phase 2 friendly because there's no sugar and no carbs.  However, it is not a very healthy choice and falls on the emotional happy side of eating.  So, I may have to examine that when I come to it.  I think the break in between the cycles is a relief, but toward the last couple of days I was ready to begin again.  I have an aquaintance that is hoping to start soon!  I know she's nervous, but hopefully I'll be able to support her like I've been supported and encouraged.  I know this program works!  You just have to do it.  So, if you're considering this program let me know.  I'll be right here for you!

Cycle 2/ Phase 1/ Day 41

Feeling good today.  Stopped the drops last night.  I remember this day the last cycle.  I wondered when I would get hungry.  I was sure that I would get hungry the very next morning.  I wasn't though.  Wasn't that a surprise?!  So, this time around i'm not so surprised that I'm not hungry.  I remember everyone saying that, "you'll just know" when it's time.  Very true.  It was about on the third day when I started feeling hungry.  When I say hungry, I felt like I was in the cartoon of the two people on an island.  The one looks like a hot dog and the other looks like a chicken leg.  Well, on that third day, my poor 4 year old started looking like the hot dog.  It's nice being able to add back in the foods, but sometimes it's also scary.  I think this is when people doubt that they can keep the weight off.  This is where people that say this program doesn't work, don't have success.  You just have to go slow.  Add a little at a time.  I think the hardest thing for me on the program was just that I didn't eat breakfast.  It's not as bad this cycle.  Last cycle was a struggle.  Last cycle was a struggle on it's own.  Emotional and physical.  I feel like I'm healing though.  It's amazing that a weight loss journey can turn into an emotional one.  A journey of losing and an journey of healing.  What more can you ask for?  Healing.

Cycle 2/ Phase 1/ Day 40

TToday is the last day of my drops!  I'm excited!  Soon begins Phase 2.  I hope I do better than last time.  Well, Phase 2 went well last time, it was Phase 3 that was tough.  This time I really need to work on the emotional part of the eating.  I didn't eat a whole lot of junk, but I think I did eat more often than was necessary.  Fortunately I didn't gain until the last day or two.  I don't have much to say today.  I just wanted to update with a before and after picture!  Oh.  I started at 234.5 and am at 194.6.

                                        

                                            

                                                       This is Cycle 1/ Day 
                                      





                                      

                                                 

                                           This is Cycle 2/ Day 40 (last day)

I still have a long way to go, but dang!  I'm proud of what I've done so far!  I'm almost able to shop off the rack.  I'm having to give clothes away now.  It's nice.  I plan to stay this way for a long time.

Cycle 2/ Phase 1/ Day 39

I haven't been blogging everyday I know.  It's been a little busy lately.  So, I am so excited!  I hit my first goal!  40 lbs loss!  That was my goal 20 lbs per cycle.  So, I've averaged 20 lbs per cycle.   I can't believe how far I've come since Feb 26!  I was 234.5 when I started.  I'm 195.3 now!  That is still heavy I know.  I'll get there.  All my worrying about whether or not this program was legit.  Is it a placebo?  Is it really just a starvation diet?  Well, NO to both of those.  If it was a starvation diet, I would be hungry.  I would look sick.  I wouldn't feel good at all.  I wouldn't say I'm bouncing off the walls with energy, but I also have a 4 year old and I am a night owl and she isn't.  I'm embarrassed to say that last year I was squeezing into an airline seat.  I had a hard time at a hockey game.  I felt like I was stuck.  I was miserable.  I hoped none of my friends noticed when I didn't want to get up and go anywhere.  This year won't be that way.  I have to fly in August and I don't think it will be the same experience.  I'm not sure I'm losing in my outer thighs as much, but I'm sure I am.  I'm much more comfortable sleeping.  I also just realized as I am typing that I'm not having any sleep apnea instances.  I have been sleeping on my back, though I prefer my belly.  My leg doesn't hurt anymore.  I'm just so excited.  I'm under 200!  It's been a while.  Good to see you again my friend!  There are some things I've learned about going out to eat.  It may be embarrassing to carry your own salad dressing, but at least you'll know for sure what you're getting.  I have also been known to carry my own grilled chicken.  I sauté my own chicken in chicken broth.  No fat.  It may be embarrassing and maybe even rude to the cook, but I do order something from their menu.  I'll order a plain Jane salad.  The rest I bring.  Today I'm supposed to go out to eat with my sister for her birthday.  Will I eat there?  NO!  Not because of where it is actually, but because it will be after 1:30 and I just can't wait that long.  Neither can my daughter.  Anyway... Weight loss.  I have no insights today.  I'm just happy!  OH!  I became a distributer for Young Living.  I became one because I use their products so much.  I'm pretty sure I'm getting out of Scentsy the end of June.  I'm just tired of it.  I love the product, but I'm just not into it.  I'm just not a salesperson.  So, the end of June will be my last month.  Well, I better get going.  Today is my Sister's, Father-in-law's and a friend's birthday! Busy, busy!

Cycle 2/ Phase 1/ Day 37

Ups and Downs.. Ups and Downs..  That's what life is full of it seems.  Not just with my weight, which is mostly what this blog is about, but just life in general.  I'm going to break from my normal weight loss talk today.  I hate it when I feel impatient.  I really do.  Today I just felt so impatient though.  Tonight, I just had enough with little R and just told her to go to bed.  Of course that crushed her feelings.  Nothing she did was her fault either.  She's not even 4 yet.  I have stuff all over the place because I'm trying to de-clutter.  So, she's just got to be in the middle of it all!  I know I could have taken it all out yesterday, but I didn't.  On top of that I sell Scentsy and I got an order in yesterday.  It had tons of paper in it.  She has strewn that all over the living room.  I just feel too tired to do anything about it.  I have to though.  I have to clean the house.  I have a home check on the 31st that I'm nervous about.  It's for a stinkin dog!  We're going through a rescue group and they do home checks.  That's totally fine, but I'm so nervous!  You'd think I was adopting a kid.  My house is a complete disaster!  I'm not kidding.  Really!  I'm not one of those type A's that say that and the only thing wrong is a pillow on the couch is out of place.  I'm serious.  My daughter's room is about the most dangerous room in the house.  You step on a block and you'll be lame for days.  Hopefully, that will be a room we can avoid.  My bedroom looks like the dryer exploded in it.  The clothes are clean!  For real!  They just don't like being in my closet.  I think they're claustrophobic. Then, my "guest/school/craft" room.  Sigh.... That's where we are going to put the kennel.  The only thing I can say that is good about my house right now is that there are no dirty dishes in the sink, and my yard is safe.  OH!  Then I found out that hubster may be coming home early.  That's good and bad.  I'd love for him to be home, but the money we make when he's gone was going to really help with a down payment on a house and car.  So, dang it!  Stupid countries having issues.  I miss him though, I really do.  Sigh.. ups and downs... today is a down day.

Well, an up is that I do feel good about this cycle.  I'm super close to making my goal.  I may not, and that will still be ok. (I won't lie, I'll be a little disappointed.)  However, I do feel like I've made some progress in other areas.  Have we talked about the body as a temple thing yet?  I can never remember what I write.  Anyway.. I just hope that God is looking at my work and saying "Good work!"  I thought for sure I talked about this.  Maybe I imagined what I was going to write or maybe I chickened out.

I just realized what it came from...

 I love my path more though.  I love my goal and I love knowing that I'm not just working on my weight, but my heart and my brain.  These things are temporary.  Life is just temporary.  If our body is really a temple, then what sort of  temple have I been keeping?  So, right now, I'm cleaning this temple.  I'm getting rid of the old things.  I'm selling off the junk.  I'm going to start new.  I'm renovating.  That's all that I can do right now.  I won't do well everyday, but my heart is there.  I'll always come back.  Now that I know I can, I will.  So, that's what this program has done for me.  


This was in an email that I wrote to Vicki.  Oh man!  She's been amazing.  I think we have so much in common.  I don't think she even knows.  That's my up.  Having the support I do.  Knowing that things are temporary.  Learning to be optimistic again.  That's been hard for me lately.  I love my life, but some days I just want to run away.  I haven't been feeling very faithful lately.  I just have felt sort of like God left me to figure things out.  He's very gentle to me right now, and that's how I need it to be.  By very gentle, I mean bringing me back in very small ways.  My daughter found my little picture bible from when I was her age.  Every day she wants me to read it.  I have to read several stories.  They make me uncomfortable for some reason, but very slowly I'm feeling my faith return.  I appreciate that He knows how to handle me.  I guess he would since he made me.  I'm thankful for him introducing me to Tom and Vicki.  They also happen to share the same faith.  I'll get there again.  Probably not this week, but eventually.  


You thought this blog was going to be about weight loss.  Well this is part of it.  Getting rid of the emotional triggers to your food addiction.  It can be very emotional and stressful.  I'm thankful though.  I want a WHOLE new me.  Not just a new body, but a new mind and spirit too.  So, this is me.  You want to know my weight loss?  Nothing.  I gained 0.4 today.  Not pleased, but not discouraged either.  I know I'll get there.  I KNOW I will.  So, I'm ok.  

Cycle 2/ Phase 1/ Day 36

Today was a good loss day.  I'm actually pretty close to the goal I had in mind for this cycle.  This cycle has actually been great.  I thought 40 days was going to be so long.  I thought it would just drag by and I'd dread it.  It's actually been good though.  So, I'm almost done with the drops and ready for phase 2.  This time I'm going to have to change a few things.  I really like the recipes that I've been using.  In fact, I think I eat the same two things all the time.  I'm like that though.  I'm not the type that needs a whole lot of variety.  I don't have a lot of insight today.  Nothing special.  I was at a function last night and it was a little difficult because I wanted I didn't want to be rude, but being on this portion of the cycle I was not about to ruin my diet.  So at first I had them heat up my food, but then at the last minute I was able to find something that I could eat.  They grilled some chicken for me and gave me a plain salad with apples and tomatoes.  Wasn't that perfect?!  I realized that I really can eat every where I'd like to.  I just have to be super specific about how they cook things.  Anyway... I don't have much time to chat.  I have a very sad baby right now.  So, my loss for today is  -1.2 so I'm at 196.8!  Yay!